Surat Thani

Early heat, waking-up heat. Always sweaty, always calm. Waiting for lists to be called, directions to be told, plastic chairs and raisin buns to go. The dust and canals smells vaguely, but so does the orchids and the pineapples. "Sa-peed boat, Koh Phangaan!" "Ferry boat, Samuii!!" We walk, sandals flopping, backpacks tightly on our bodies, new water bottle! The ocean, the ocean, the ocean, wind at last, stay in the shadow, close eyes for a while but lean on the bag. Blinding light, a promised land for the invasive.
My love, see the palm trees, the water is a bright green now, we walk onto the beach. An image of freedom, of being released.

Honestly.

I almost wrote "to be left drifting". As if I had nothing to do with it. To hand out blows is far easier than picking up the own pieces, although leaving them only sets me back. Give me, give me, I am jealous! I don't want to struggle (with nothing) and sit down in a puddle of pity. Just a piece, only a small encouragement, to make me float and aim again. There! I resorted to begging.
Take it, make it, my strength is to do. Do to gain.